is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
