I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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