I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
