alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
im six kinds of drunk right now
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
