i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
