ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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