Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
