It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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