I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
