did you get engaged???
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
