Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Everyone says I win the strip club
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
