You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
