jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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