My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
