oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
