Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Non-Jews are for practice
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
