I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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