Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
