I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Everything about him screamed your future.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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