Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Are we still banned from the library?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
