he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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