My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
