the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
