he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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