I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
