Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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