Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
