census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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