4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i barfeds in our rink
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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