college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
