He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
