Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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