Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Found the puke drawer
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
