So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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