Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
