No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Randomize
