Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize