I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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