singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
