Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
