I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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