every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
