another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Success! We fucked roommates!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
