I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
