I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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