today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
