Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
