I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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