I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
