its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
