I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
