So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
