My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
